INSITU: VISIONS CAME ON WINGS OF DARKNESS
Visions Came on Wings of Darkness
I am a kinesthetic learner, experiential processor and painter. As an experiential painter, I paint by a moment-to-moment system. A moment-to-moment system requires me to maintain cognitive awareness, discipline and intention. My creative process requires minimal planning because its trajectory is determined by intention, intuition and improvisation.
My creative process begins with an intrinsically powered visualization in my mind that is derived from a collective database of information and knowledge. Then, to the best of my ability, I sketch this visualization into several varying compositions. Once the most dynamic version of the composition is chosen, a final sketch is developed. The final sketch will be designed to define the wood shapes that need to be cut with a jigsaw. I cut out specific shapes with a jigsaw and layer the wood in a fashion that creates background, middle ground and/or foreground. I find this kinesthetic building process to be extremely rewarding and the final product to be visually successful and feel alive. After all the individual wood shapes are sawn, I assemble them together with wood glue and a nail gun. Following these steps, I generously apply two coats of gesso to the wood to make the template less absorbent. From this point on, my painting techniques take the wheel and steadily blossom through building multiple layers of paint.
I activate my templates outside of the typical presentational format because rectangular forms obstruct my ability to strengthen my relationship with creation. I feel hindered by the limited nature of their geometric edges. It is as though my compositions require the same freedom as the magic wand, or the paintbrush does to move.
Since I use intention, intuition and improvisation, the active process of building each painting on the foundation of healing is of critical importance to achieving a positive outcome. My paintings flow freely within their individual trajectories and my source materials for these paintings are the grounding forces underneath this freedom. As I build and subtract paint layers, I remain present in the moment-to-moment systematic development of decision-making intertwined with the intentional interactions of wand and template. Just as technical freedom aids in achieving positive outcomes, allowing for emotional freedom through exposure-based procedures creates infinite opportunities to service my existential needs. Emotionally processing traumatic experiences acts a predictor of my work’s outcomes by understanding the reasons behind thought and behavioral patterns. When I build and subtract paint layers over an extended period of time, it mirrors the evolutionary journey of transforming my pain into integrated knowledge. I paint intentionally as an exposure-based procedure, meaning that by reliving specific experiences certain emotions are exposed and thus translated through the wand. The translation of raw emotion through the paintbrush comes out in unique dialects with constructive meaning. I develop visual languages from processing experiences that trigger intense emotion, which allows me to work in confidence that my authenticity will paint itself.
The process of constructing new meaning from traumatic experiences by means of an intuitive visual language is the most stimulating source of information for authentic paintings. There is no separation between the greatness of painting from healing in my world. My experiential knowledge and painting skills have formed a strong relationship that thrives off each other’s reciprocal energies and thoughts.